V-Day Look: Mixing Masculine & Feminine Elements

Mixing masculine and feminine elements is a method of styling I like to dress with often.

In a similar way that opposites attract, wearing both masculine and feminine elements in your outfit makes it more interesting.

Examples of feminine elements are the color pink and a vintage style purse in this outfit.

Other examples are florals, pencil skirts, and dresses that emphasize the waist.

Examples of masculine elements are tailored blazers and vests, buckled boots and button up collared shirts.

While men can incorporate some feminine elements in their wardrobe like the color pink and floral prints, women can wear more silhouettes than men. We’ve got skirts, dresses, and more styles of tops to choose from in addition to all of the menswear silhouettes we can wear. We have the best of both worlds :)

Wear for day or a casual date:

Styling tips:

• Start with an item you love that will be the main character of the outfit. I chose this pink scarf.
• Next create the rest of your outfit. Since I want the scarf to stand out, I chose all neutrals for the rest.
• Choose silhouettes that enhance your body shape, like a pencil skirt.
• I chose a v-neck tee to keep the outfit casual. V-neck tees and shirts are the most universally flattering since this shape elongates the neckline, making you look longer and leaner. The v shape is also like an upside down arrow that draws attention to your neck and face.
• Since the pink scarf and pencil skirt are my feminine elements, next I added the masculine ones: the blazer to make the outfit more sophisticated, and boots to make it casual.
• Choose a blazer that nips in at your waist and buttons comfortably without stretching the fabric. Though the one in my outfit is an open style without a button, before I bought it I made sure it would button comfortably if it had one.
• There are styling tricks for all body types for which shapes, colors, and proportions will best flatter you. If you have concerns or questions about this, consult your Stylist. If you’re looking for one, holler and maybe I can help.

What I wore:

Scarf: gifted

Blazer and pencil skirt: H&M

Tee: Nordstrom Rack

Boots: MIA

Happy V-Day styling, and as always, Love Yourself and Feel Beautiful! Thanks for reading, stay tuned, and in the comments tell us what you like to wear for Valentine’s.

I Am Not My Hair: Cancer Conquering Confidence

Today I’m talking about “I am not my hair” from my book 8 Values of a Cancer Conquering Personal Stylist: How to Love Yourself & Feel Beautiful.

Watch me talk about it in video here.

The reason I want to share with you about I am not my hair right now is because I just started losing my hair again. I was growing it back for a year, it was coming back, and it was almost looking normal.  And now it’s getting thin again. It’s because I’m taking a synthetic drug. I don’t think anything natural would make a person’s hair fall out.

What I’m discovering is we’re not defined by our hair. It’s just part of our physical being. What defines us really is what’s inside. What’s inside our hearts, what’s inside our heads, what our values are.

It’s part of our packaging though, of course, our physical self. It’s our visual business card, part of our marketing. I just heard recently that people judge the cover of a book before they read what’s inside. And this is true because we live in a visual society. It’s important to align who you are on the outside with who you are on the inside by dressing for your body type, lifestyle, and personality.

Bottom line is a person’s character is more important than their visual physical self. India.Arie, one of my fave musicians even made a song about it.

I don’t share with you my story for pity or for sympathy. I share my story to share the truth so you know what’s going on and maybe you can relate with me. Maybe you’re going through something similar, maybe something more intense. Maybe just hearing my story is impacting you or will impact you for the better.

I love my hair no matter what length it is. And if I lose it all again, if I have to shave it off again because I’m losing so much so fast, then so be it. I’ll just put my headscarves on again or I’ll just rock a bald head. It’s just hair. It will grow back. And if it doesn’t, then it’s ok. It’s just hair.

Another thing I want to share with you. I read this in the book Wisdom to Wellness by Maureen Minnehan Jones: People who have physical illnesses, there’s a soul discovery attached to it. It’s your soul giving your body a signal, a message. The one that’s attached to cancer is related to judgement. This is a broad term and can apply to many things or aspects of a person’s life. It’s something I’m experiencing and going through.

People who are conquering these mothers of physical illnesses...it’s an amazing character development, boot camp, roller coaster! Physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, everything! You experience life and then put on top of that a physical illness- goodness gracious! There is definitely some pressure going on that coal to reveal the diamond that’s there underneath.

A little bit of this roller coaster I’m experiencing has to do with faith and trust. Faith and trust in yourself that you will conquer whatever you’re going through. And also faith and trust in the experts that you’re relying on to help heal you, with whatever methods or treatments they give you.

And then there’s patience. Pretty self explanatory.

And love and happiness and all of the positive, great emotions that there are. The more that you feel these for yourself, and the more you stay positive, the more life opens up and the better life can be. And when you have a physical illness like this I’m finding it’s so important to stay positive and to see the silver lining and to see the light at the end of the tunnel and focus on that. That’s really what’s gotten me through to where I am today. I’ve gone through a lot. I’ve been in and out of the hospital and feeling very sick for the majority of a year and a half. My journey is about two years long right now and I just thank God that I have the energy that I have now and I’m at the health level I’m at now.

I consider having cancer, conquering it, as a blessing. I know that I will conquer it because I’m stronger than it. Because I’m smarter than it. I know that I have so many people to impact and lives, people to touch. So I know I’m not going anywhere for a long time.

I want to know in the comments: What’s one thing you’re going through in your life, and also one thing you’re learning from it, whether it’s positive or negative. Focus on that silver lining.

Thanks for reading, stay tuned, I love you all, and let’s connect on KacieMay.com and see how we can collaborate.

P.S. Oh, and f.y.i., a few days before I wrote this and shot the video, I had a breakdown. I cried. I called loved ones. I want to be healthier already. I know I’ll get there. I let it all out, emotions, talking, writing, as I do habitually, then I told myself it will be ok. And I believe myself. I’m human. I fall, then I pick myself back up, get my game face on, and conquer!

Love Yourself & Feel Beautiful...

...And You Will Become the Diamond that You Are.

A handful of years ago and up until a few years ago, I lost some of my essence, some of my self love and confidence. I chose to go to college and study. I was away from my loves, my family, and in a strange place with a bunch of people I didn’t know, focusing on something I didn’t know how I wanted to apply to my life. Maybe this is typical- college age being kind of like a second puberty- where you’re figuring yourself and your life out.

So what was the trigger? What changed to make me start to seek my self actualization? I don’t remember, but I do remember wanting to spend some time doing one of the things that made me smile: playing with clothes. So I moved to Los Angeles from San Francisco and suddenly it was like I was given permission to cherish and show off my physical looks (maybe a little too much at times, out of proportion with letting our insides shine too; our personality and humanity, for example). I was also in a world where there are a TON of people playing with clothes. The ones I’m referring to in particular are known as Fashion Stylists.

So now I gave myself permission to indulge and show off my physical self more than I had in the previous few years, as well as play with clothes as a Stylist to see how I liked it.

I was MUCH happier.

But then I found out I didn’t like the way I was playing with clothes, or the values of the people in this industry (generally speaking), and I was broke.

The passionate, fashion and style skilled creative person I was being was losing some faith and self love. I wanted to really genuinely make a difference in people’s lives (not just helping them dress up for a show or a shoot), I wanted to be more connected with the friends I chose, and I wanted to be closer with my family.  I wanted to make more money, I wanted to make my own hours, and I also got this idea that I wanted to become wealthy. To not just trade my time for money for decades, but to become wealthy meaning I choose when I want to work because everything’s already paid for at the beginning of every month. I didn’t want to be STILL hustling in my 50’s like my Mom is. Btw, she soon won’t be because I’m going to relieve her.

So all of these desires existed, and at this time I felt powerless. Then I got cancer and was brought home again to my family, and then I knew everything would be ok. Conquering cancer has given me lots of time to probe myself, read great books and listen to great audios, develop myself, become more connected, and find out how to live the way I desire: making a genuine difference in people’s lives. See KacieMay.com for my mission statement. With the journey I’m on I now feel grateful, joyful, and am becoming fulfilled.

I hope this blog has touched you in some way, and I’m here to help you love yourself and feel beautiful, and get paid what you’re worth. Also if you like this blog, share it with your friends and follow me.

Lots of love,

Kacie

And P.S. In the comments below, share with us what makes you love yourself and feel beautiful, and if it applies also share a time when you lacked self love or didn't feel beautiful, and what you did or who you became to turn it all around.

Wardrobe Purging: Why, Who, What, When & Where

When was the last time you purged your wardrobe? Doing this means getting rid of items you own, leaving more than closet space available, but also emotional space as well. Room for more garments to experience life in and make new memories with.

Purge for a fresh start and wield the power of what you wear. A new wardrobe can equal a new you. Through my lymphoma journey I feel that now is the time to start fresh with my wardrobe, and you can too for whatever reason is important to you. Feel free to purge once a year as a default.

How to sort your wardrobe:

First write on a few pieces of paper the categories you're sorting for. I sorted for: Keep, Donate, and Sell. In the pic are my Donate and Sell piles. Next ask yourself some questions and literally sort each garment one at a time, putting it into one of these 3 piles.

Questions to sort by:

How does this garment make me feel? If a negative emotion surfaces, get rid of the item. And of course rule of thumb is if the garment makes you feel good, keep it :) Also ask yourself: Is this garment appropriate for my life as it is now? Keyword being now. If it is, keep it. If not, toss it. Also if you haven’t worn it in more than a year, toss it (except for maybe a few sentimental pieces you feel positive emotions with).

Should I donate or sell it?

Donate it all if you want. Sell what is in good condition and modern or trendy. If you don't know if an item is salable, you can take it to a consignment store and they'll let you know.

A few resources for purging your wardrobe

Donating:

Salvation Army

Goodwill

your local charity or thrift store

Selling in person:

Buffalo Exchange

Crossroads Trading Company

other consignment stores

Selling online:

Poshmark

Threadflip

other online communities

Most of what I own is in these bags, and most of it I’ve worn over the past few years. I have all kinds of memories tied to these clothes. Yes, what you wear is an emotional experience. Think about it. When you want to be cozy, which sweatshirt or sweater do you snuggle up with? Which jeans have you worn so many times there’s holes in em and you have so many memories with?! Which special piece reminds you of that special someone? This is one way we sort our wardrobe: by the emotional experience we have when we wear it.

The goal is joy and happiness and feeling in complete integrity with who you are. And of course looking great for your body type, personality, and lifestyle. When you feel joy and happiness in what you wear and are following a few guidelines for appropriateness, personal integrity, and the occasion at hand, you’re unstoppable. Think about it. What’s that power dress or power outfit you have that when you put it on you feel like the most badass woman around and a like a million bucks? That’s what I’m talkin about. This is what you want for yourself. If you don’t have this already, GET it! Maybe I can help you with this...

So happy sorting and purging peeps, and guess what! You don’t need a new year as reason to do it. Like Jim Rohn says, “If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.” :D

In the comments below, share with us:

-Your experience with wardrobe purging

-How you felt when you got rid of that one item you’ve held on to for longer than you needed

-Your questions

Thanks for reading and let’s connect at KacieMay.com

Recognizing Other Women’s Beauty

I used to think that it was a competition- who was the most beautiful? Or like the witch in Sleeping Beauty said, “Who is the fairest of them all?” If you come from a perspective of competition, that could mean that there is only so much to go around, and that there’s only one winner, only one most beautiful woman. This could be a fear based way of thinking. What I’m learning is that you can only love others as much as you love yourself. There were times when I thought, “You’re so beautiful” when meeting physically beautiful or spiritually beautiful women. I realized I wasn’t telling them, I was just thinking it. I used to be afraid to speak on it. I changed and decided to tell them. I noticed that once I did, they lit up! And so did I.

Marianne Williamson writes, “As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Maybe this enlightening was triggered by a spa event I attended sometime in 2010. Two women were presenting. One of the women came to the stage and while she was speaking, looked directly at me in the 2nd row and said “You are so beautiful”, in  a high pitched, enthusiastic and fascinated tone. Maybe it was how I made up my face that day, or what I was wearing, or maybe it was my spirit that she recognized. Whatever it was, when she said that I smiled and maybe blushed too, and she smiled back. This was a woman who loved herself a lot. She was also living a life she consciously chose and designed. I know this because it’s what she told us. She also had a huge, emanating, positive energy that I hadn’t seen too often up until this point in my life, so I figured she was living life in a way that was different than most. She seemed to be on a different wavelength than the majority of people in America (as of the day I’m writing this in November 2013).

Last week I walked into a Pete’s Coffee in the Sacramento area. This girl came around the corner. My aura automatically lifted and my eyes lit up, stunned by her presence. I said without thinking: “You hair is so beautiful!” Vivid, red, small ringlets cascaded halfway down her back. I recognized her beauty and spoke on it. She smiled and blushed, a similar reaction I had a few years earlier. A quiet one, she rang me up at the cashwrap. What’s interesting is that a few hours later as I was leaving the shop when they were closing, one of her coworkers said, “See you tomorrow!” with a lot of warmth and certainty, in a similar voice I complimented her coworker with earlier. This is the first time I’d ever set foot in this Pete’s, and I had conversed only about 10 words with this coworker a few minutes earlier. I’m wondering what caused her to say that. It was as if she read my mind. I was thinking to come back tomorrow, and that I liked the calm atmosphere and the kind girls working there. I wonder if the redhead told her of my compliment and she wanted my energy there again with them.

There is so much beauty in the world. I’m talking about more than physical beauty. Someone’s personality, their warmth, kindness, generosity, consideration, families, communities, sceneries, landscapes, art, music, houses, fashion...there’s so much! What we put out into the world, we also get back, so by acknowledging the beauty around us, we are acknowledging our own beauty at the same time. When we do this we’re also more at peace with ourselves and we open the doors to more abundance in our lives. It’s about paying it forward, too. You pay a compliment to someone, and because you did, they do the same and pay a compliment to another person, and it’s a never ending chain of compliments! So let’s recognize women’s- and all kinds of other beauty- around us for a better, more beautiful, more abundant life!

If you like what you’ve read so far, stay tuned and check out my upcoming book: 8 Values of a Cancer Conquering Personal Stylist: How to Love Yourself and Feel Beautiful to be released in January 2014!

In the comments below, tell us about the best compliment you’ve ever had from another woman. Let’s have some extra lady love time and give some shout outs!

Thanks for reading and let’s connect at KacieMay.com

2 Amazing Ways to Alleviate Cancer and Other Illnesses

Hey everyone!

I’m finding I’m referring a lot of people to these two resources to help rid them of their cancer and other illnesses. I’m not a doctor. I’m healing from Hodgkin’s Lymphoma - I say I conquered it- and have been on quite a wild ride the past two years. These are only two treatments out of what I’ve experienced.

Watch me speak on it here: http://youtu.be/5hmASOkxtNE

Here the resources:

1. Dr. Lubecki, located in Fair Oaks, CA

He’s helped people achieve miracles for over 30 years.

www.lubecki-chiropractic.com

What he’s done for one woman in particular is astounding!

Read: Conquering Cancer by Susan Gorkosky and John Lubecki D.C.  

http://amzn.to/1c4s3CA

The morning after I first saw him- this was several months ago- the swelling in a lymph node in my neck decreased by HALF! I haven’t seen this type of dramatic result with any other treatment I’ve done so far. Thank you so much William for referring me to him!

What I love about him, besides the results I just mentioned, is that he helps alleviate people’s conditions at such an amazing value, and he actually teaches you how to use some specific equipment to help yourself at home.

2. An AMAZING book. Read: Wisdom to Wellness: Healing Your Emotional Sufferings So Your Physical Healing Can Follow by Maureen Minnehan Jones

http://amzn.to/17i3813

I’m in the middle of reading this book as I write this. I wish I had known about it and read it a few years ago! Thank you so much Stephanie for gifting me this book.

Here’s the most profound part I’ve read so far:

‘All disease encompasses four emotional sufferings:

1. Resentment

2. Anger that can turn into rage

3. Powerlessness

4. Lack of self love’

She also writes, ‘The universal soul discovery of cancer is to heal judgment of ourselves and the outside world.’

She breaks down a LOT of illnesses- the specific emotional sufferings and also universal soul discoveries for them. It’s amazing!

As I read on, I discovered four different affirmations we can say to flip the switch; to live a healthier life via feeling healthy emotions. Say and feel these daily! They are:

From this moment forward I make all decisions based on the truth that I am a treasure, I am a precious gem, I am love itself.

I am safe and protected. I am always there for and support myself, and I can discern who can be there for me and support me and I allow that.

From this moment forward, I make all decisions based on the truth that I have my personal power. I send power out to the world with ease and then I help empower others.

I feel my anger or resentment then release the anger or resentment out of my body every time it comes up. I fill that area with a loving energy, then I ask myself what I need and fulfill my own need deep inside.

Though I have not been treated by Maureen as of the date I’m writing this, I’m finding many A-HA’s while reading her book, and I do believe a big factor about why lymphoma came about in my body was due to these four emotional sufferings. It seems there can or could be many causes of cancer, and our emotions are one, according to this book.

Please share this with your loved ones. I hope it helps you as much as it is helping me, and I’d love to know how. Also feel free to share what treatments or therapies have helped you in your journey to complete healing.

Let’s connect at kaciemay.com

Thanks for reading and stay tuned!